Have you ever found yourself stuck in a never-ending cycle of behavior, repeating the same pattern over and over? You’re not alone. Many people struggle with repeating the same unproductive patterns in their lives, whether it’s in relationships, work, or personal habits. Understanding the roots of these patterns and learning how to break free from them is essential for personal growth and a healthier, more fulfilling life. During The Infinity Life Program, we’ll explore the underlying causes of your repeating behavior patterns and provide practical steps to overcome them. A facilitator will guide you through the process of discovering the roots of your own behavior patterns and then teach you the processes to start to release them.
Repeating behavior patterns are like well-worn grooves in our lives. We find ourselves in similar situations or making the same mistakes over and over again. These patterns often manifest in various areas:
- Relationships: Constantly dating or marrying the wrong type of person or experiencing the same problems in different relationships. No matter who you are with, they always seem to treat you the same way; they don’t listen, they don’t share, they don’t want what you want, you don’t feel important to them, you don’t feel seen or heard, you feel ignored, or disrespected, you don’t feel loved. You end up in arguments where you never win and they are always about the same issues.
- Work: Repeating career mistakes, such as taking jobs that don’t align with your values or constantly clashing with coworkers. You think you found the right position with the right company and then you are treated with disrespect by your supervisor or someone who tries to take credit for your work. Every time you change positions in the same company or at a new one, the same thing happens to you. You begin to have self-doubt, to lose confidence in your abilities.
- Personal Habits: Struggling with the same unhealthy habits, whether it’s overeating, procrastination, or addiction. You know you want to change your diet to a healthy one but you just don’t ever seem to make the decision. You know you want to go out and walk or exercise but you are always too tired or unmotivated. Instead, you choose to focus on social media for entertainment. You know you want to quit smoking but somehow you always go back to it to ease your discomfort when uncomfortable situations arise.
- Emotional Patterns: Reacting to stress or conflict in the same unhelpful ways; like avoidance/running away, self-pity, anger, spending money on things you don’t need for instant gratification, placing blame on others, or self-sabotage even though you want to react differently but you are stuck. You just don’t know how to change.
Understanding the Causes
To break free from these repeating patterns, it’s crucial to understand their underlying causes:
- Unresolved Trauma: Past traumatic experiences can shape our behavior patterns. We may unconsciously recreate similar situations as a way to process and heal from the past. We create behaviors to protect ourselves from these past experiences, however we seem to still attract them over and over again. We might be afraid of our emotions from the past, afraid to face them, feeling perhaps they might be too uncomfortable to handle.
- Comfort Zone: Sometimes, even if a behavior is negative or harmful, it can be comforting because it’s familiar. We may resist change because it feels safer to stay within our comfort zone. We might be having issues of unworthiness, that we don’t deserve anything better.
- Lack of Self-Awareness: Many people are unaware of their behavior patterns until they reflect on them or someone points them out to us. Without self-awareness, it’s challenging to make meaningful changes. Sometimes we are afraid to look in the mirror at ourselves as we are not sure that we will like what we see.
- Negative Core Beliefs: Deep-seated negative beliefs about oneself, such as “I’m not worthy” or “I’ll never succeed,” can lead to self-sabotaging behavior. There are many more. “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t deserve (happiness, money, love)”, “I have to be perfect to be loved,” “I’m not thin enough.”
Overcoming Repeating Behavior Patterns
Now that we’ve identified some common causes, let’s explore strategies to break free from these cycles:
- Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your behavior patterns. Journaling or talking to a trusted friend can help you gain insight into your actions and their underlying causes.
- Mindfulness and Self-Awareness: Practice mindfulness to become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and actions. This self-awareness is crucial for recognizing and interrupting unhealthy behavior patterns as they arise.
- Challenge Negative Beliefs: Work on changing negative core beliefs through positive affirmations and cognitive-behavioral techniques. Replace self-sabotaging thoughts with empowering ones.
- Set Clear Goals: Define what you want to change and set specific, achievable goals. Having a clear vision for your desired behavior can motivate you to break old patterns.
- Create Healthy Habits: Replace unhealthy habits with healthier alternatives. This may require a gradual process of change and perseverance.
- Do some mirror work: Carl Rogers, eminent psychologist and founder of the Humanistic approach to psychology, and the pioneer of person-centered psychotherapy, wrote many books on personality and self-actualization. He emphasized prizing yourself and others. Consider doing mirror work where you stand in the front of the mirror every day for two minutes and prize yourself on all your positive attributes. Be empathetic to yourself. Click here for a short video of Carl Rogers teaching about empathy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMi7uY83z-U
- Build a Support System: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can encourage your efforts to change. Consider joining support groups or communities that focus on personal growth if your friends or family are unsupportive. It is said that the five people who are in your close circle are the ones that you model yourself after and have the most effect on you. If the five people you surround yourself with are exhibiting the same behaviors you don’t like in yourself, consider changing who you have in your close circle.
- Forgive Yourself: Understand that breaking old patterns is a journey, and setbacks are normal. Be compassionate with yourself and keep moving forward. Be kind to yourself. It took all your life for you to learn unhealthy behaviors and it will take a while for you to create new habits to replace them.
- Sign up for The Infinity Life Program: In this program, you will experience an initial session with a Facilitator who will help you to understand the underlying reason you are continuing to repeat an unhealthy behavior. You will also learn the practices involved in order to release it. It’s like having a virus in your computer. You have to remove the virus before your computer can work properly. A technician with experience can help you remove the virus in your computer. The Infinity Life Facilitator can show you how to do this and with these tools, you can feel like you are taking control of yourself and cleaning your hard drive. With practice, over time, you can release the old behavior pattern that caused you to feel stuck and start to create a new behavior pattern that makes you feel that you can begin to attract better people and opportunities, this time with success. This can make you feel you have taken back your power and are in control of your behaviors and therefore, your life.
Remember, this does take time. It’s just like building a new set of muscles. You don’t expect to go to the gym, work out once and come out looking like a body builder. You have to start slowly and work out regularly to increase your stamina. It might take you at least six months to a year to tone your muscles before they start to appear more firm and larger. It’s the same with working on yourself to release old habits and patterns that no longer serve you and replacing them with new ones. You are taking the steps to invest in yourself, allowing yourself to be guided in a new direction. Giving yourself a fresh start. Be kind to yourself and patient. Give yourself positive praise that you are taking a step in the right direction and keep praising yourself every day that you work on yourself.
Conclusion
Repeating unhealthy behavior patterns can be frustrating and disheartening, but they are not insurmountable. By understanding the root causes, fostering self-awareness, seeking support, and committing to change, you can break free from these cycles and create a more fulfilling and positive life. Remember that change takes time, patience, and self-compassion. With persistence and the right tools, you can create healthier, more productive patterns that lead to personal growth and happiness.
Joining The Infinity Life Program can help you change your life. It is the first step to helping yourself recognize why you have the unhealthy behavior patterns and once you learn the process, release them one by one.